6 : Fifty Eight

I can't believe Mraz performed "Catch Up to You." I can't believe it.

That was, like, the old school RKOPers' claim to awesomeness--the fact that they had that song and no one else did.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHERE HAVE I BEEN IN THE MRAZ FANDOM!?

*about to listen*

- A

The Bear McCreary tune of the week is, wait for it--"Prelude to War." Oh, MAN, I'm so into that song right now. The racing strings and the drum beats and the UHN. It's verrrry nice. 

Finished getting through 2.0 last night. Those last two episodes ("Flight of the Phoenix," "Pegasus") were amazing. "Pegasus" especially. Admiral Cain is such a delicious character... what a fantastic story arc. It made me giggle, because as bitchy as Roslin seems sometimes, she looks like a damn puppy dog next to her. 

Basically, I can't wait to spend more money buying 2.5.

In other news, Ricky Gervais is starring in the new movie "Ghost Town." It looks awesome. Sweet and harmless, perhaps, but lord, it's RICKY!



Also, his LJ blog offered this stat: 

"The Ricky Gervais Podcast is downloaded an average of 4.54 million times a month. That's about 55 million downloads a year and over a million per week- nearly 4 times the amount that broke the world record three years ago."

Phenomenol. And well-deserved, might I add. (Aaron Douglas is a fan, hehe)



I love you Ricky. And you, Karl Pilkingon, you bald-headed twat. Well done.

-A

Thoughts of the morning:

- The Dr. Horrible soundtrack is AWESOME. Not... that... I have anofficialone. BUT AWESOME. "On the Rise" is a true piece of art. "Laundry Day" and "Perfect Story" are super feel-good. And "Brand New Day" kicks ass. LOOF.

- Good job for making me love you a bit, Aaron Eckhart. *swoon* I wish his role TDK would get more attention. I think he did a brilliant job.

- Mary McDonnell. I love Mary McDonnell. 

 

Love her. Looooove her. *oozes girlcrush*

She can do ANYTHING and still be better than you. Comedy, girlishness, crying, death, yelling, sex... she's peeerrrrfect. And look at that damn Hair. The Hair. Roslin's loss of it was a mini-tragedy in BSG.

*more swooning*

God, I need to do something productive.

-A

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is (was?) the best thing to ever be released on the internet.



Songs, so good! Dialogue, so funny! Neil Patrick Harris, so adorable!

Hilarious, heartbreaking, musical inanity at its finest. Kudos to Harris and Nathan Fillion... wow. What absolute brilliance. 

You've sold me, Whedon. I want the CD. The DVD, too. Probably a hammer shirt. Thanks a lot.

- A

 

 

The ramblings of a madwoman:

I think I like Elliot Smith. His voice is the opposite of stellar. And his songs aren't very energetic. But then I hear things like "Needle in the Hay" and "Christian Brothers" and I can't imagine why either of those things would matter. Pure acoustic genius, I say. Pure genius.

Amy's LI was a douchebag. Amy does not waste her time with douchebags. Amy deserves an apology before she can muster up the ability to give a shit.

Laura Roslin is my hero. Mary McDonnell deserves that fucking Emmy nomination, and won't get it.

I downloaded Series 2 and 3 of the Ricky Gervais Show/Podcast. I am thrilled to hear more inanity from Mr. Karl Pilkington, and really, few things would give me more joy. Ricky, Steve, and Karl make my head spin with delight.

PS3 needs to pull out the big guns today to counter XBox's brilliant showing at E3's opening. That FFXIII blow was pretty hardcore. As for Nintendo, I fully expect them to bring the goods. The add-on already had my tiny gamer brain buzzing. I haven't been anticipating it very much, so anything should light me up at this point--no room for disappointment.

Enough for now.
-A

Bear McCreary is a soundtrack-lover's dream.

Dear goodness. I've spent the past few days reading his blog, listening to the BSG music, pouring over the various character themes.

Blah, and "Roslin and Adama." Don't get me started. That song gets at my soul. It gets at the heart of why I'm attracted to that show. It makes me want to cry just THINKING about it. Tragic, subtle, hopeful, beautiful--it's possibly the best piece of music I've ever heard.

Can't. Stop. The listening. *love*

-A

Does this mean I'm an indie kid, now?

Way to go, Tori. Seriously. That's damn ballsy. I have no doubt about her continued success.

And a new album this Spring! That's definitely something to look forward to. *calendar marked*

ETA: note to self: Check out Yoav.

-A

Searched for these damn lyrics last night. Very, very unsuccessful. Way to be unpopular, Raining Jane.

For my own benefit:

Allow me to spam my f-list some more today. Seeing this warmed my heart-- 

"WE SING. WE DANCE. WE STEAL THINGS.," the new album from Atlantic recording artist Jason Mraz, has made a spectacular top 5 debut on the week's SoundScan/Billboard 200 album chart. The album -- which features the smash single, "I'm Yours" -- entered the chart at #3, with first week sales of 73,000.

In addition, the album took the #1 slot on the Internet Albums Chart, #2 overall on the Digital Albums Chart, and #6 on the Indie/Small Chain Core Stores Chart.

What's more, "WE SING. WE DANCE. WE STEAL THINGS." is proving a major digital sensation, with both the album and its expanded "Bonus Track Version" spending the week firmly lodged in the upper reaches of the iTunes Store's "Top Albums" chart. Of those purchasing the album via iTunes, more than 70% opted for the higher-priced "Bonus Track Version," which includes the album plus 14 exclusive new tracks culled from a variety of live and acoustic sessions. Mraz currently has three tracks from the album charting on the Hot Digital Tracks Chart. "

And how optimistic is that!?

Still getting mixed reviews overall... but it's a Mraz album. I expect nothing different. This is his highest chart ranking yet... I can't believe how much his popularity has continued to grow, especially this far from the year of 2002 and "The Remedy." 

Providing the carefree soundtrack to your summer, Jason Mraz combines the playful lyrics he's always sported with lush instrumentals on his new disc, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things. Featuring some of the best songs he's ever written, it firmly declares that the eclectic and immensely talented musician is here to stay, proven with a huge leap forward in the songwriting and replayability factors of his music. Roll the windows down and belt out the faster songs, and pull that special someone a little closer for the slower ones; you'll both be hooked on this CD. (here)

--A

Mmm. "Broken Parts" by Raining Jane is a perfect Lee/Kara song.

You know that's when fandom is starting to punch you in the face. When you start associating song lyrics with it.

Also, that new Raining Jane album is BRILLIANT. Wow. Wowowow. So many new album releases this summer... so much fantastic music.

I can't stop smiling. Life is so brilliant.

What a day to be alive.

-A 

So.

Jason's "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" threw me for a loop when it came out a WEEK EARLIER than I had written on my damn calendar. But beyond the frustration of not being able to celebrate the moment of it's release, I'm thrilled that it's been doing so well.

I'm downloading it tomorrzle (my new word, accept it) to usher me into my new job. I absolutely can't wait.

Here's to seeing if his new release fares well against Tristan's. Having both of them release albums within a month of each other is overwhelming. *contented sigh*

Here's to a summer of music and singing, kids!

-A

A few things that made me smile this morning... thought I would share. I'm all over the place.

A batch of lolcats: http://community.livejournal.com/cat_macros/2277849.html
R/Hr luuuuuuurve: http://maria-abagnale.livejournal.com/4755.html#cutid1

Listened to Holly Brook's album again this morning... ahh. So cathartic. I keep forgetting how much I like it. "Heavy" is basically the definition of everything I feel for and wish to say to so-and-so and it makes me absolutely stupid when I listen to it.

I'm also aquiring a taste for Feist... on first listen, I was like, meh. Okay. Her sound is incredibly unique, but it can wash over you blandly if you aren't working with it. It's starting to get at me, though... notably, "The Limit to Your Love" really digs in. She reminds me a lot of Amy Winehouse, in that they both have their own very unique styles, but sometimes they take it a bit too far beyond the reach of my meager musical preferences. I think I'm just boring. Oh well... I can't help what I like.

Can I just reiterate that I love, love, love Prisoner of Azkaban? Just... yes. It is so easily my favorite book of the series. I'm almost halfway through my reread of it... aaaaand I still have nearly 1500 pages left to read before next Tuesday night. *facepalm* Pathetic. I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to get through OotP before the movie if it takes me a week to get through the first two books. Alas! Constant vigilance!

I have nothing intelligent left to say. In fact, I really had nothing intelligent to say in the first place.
Wotcher.
--A

HEADS UP: Long post. Sorry.

First of all, I would like to make a brief comment on current events. Now, I'm not going to assume I know anything about politics--I couldn't argue for one party over the other if my life depended on it... please understand that I am saying this A) without any semblence of politcal understanding, B) with a not-that-great opinion of the current administration and C) with an admittedly liberal-minded view of social policy. With that disclaimer:

Dick Cheney has completely lost his mind.

What... what in the world? I just... it hurts my brain. What makes him think he is above the law!? "I'm not a part of the executive branch." What the fuck? I believe, sir, that is complete and utter bullshit. It pisses me off that he can just dance around policy the way he does. I love that we now have a new, fourth branch of government. This administration has lost it. What in the world is going on in Washington...

Also, Ann Coulter is possibly the biggest, raving bitch of a human being to ever have existed. And I don't mean that in a good way. She's a bitch to the point that it's embarrassing for herself. I don't know much about her, but the recent tiff with John Edward's wife has her coming off like the classless, biased cunt she is. She can say whatever she wants--I'm not one to stop her--but in the same vein, I have lost all respect for her as a credible, decent person.


And now, for something completely different:

Amy's Website Recommendations
For those days when you're bored... when you're lonely... when you feel like being a complete loser... here are some of my favorite spots on the 'net, accompanied by a brief description and LJ cuts (for your convenience!). Some of these are golden oldies. Others are recent discoveries. All are a fantastic way to waste your time. Don't hurt yourself.

The Obvious (You're Living Under a Rock if You Haven't Heard of These) 

Digg: My daily source for news. Top orders of business are Technology, Science, World & Business, Sports, Entertainment, and Gaming. Founded by the oh-so-beautiful Kevin Rose of previous TechTV fame (DO WANT), Digg is revolutionary in the idea of user-fueled news. Check it out.

Facebook: The online society of college kids across the globe. A classy MySpace. Warnings for EXTREME ADDICTIVENESS.

Internet Movie Database: Yes, you CAN find out where you saw that kid in Jurassic Park III, because IMDB knows everything about everyone in movies. Stalk your fave celebs and find out what they're up to next. 

Wikipedia: Your basic reference website for just about everything. Are you looking for the tallest building in China? What about the best-selling brand cereal? Would you like to know all of Scorpion's finishing moves for the entirety of the Mortal Kombat series? Look no further... Wikipedia knows too much about everything.

Youtube: Videos, videos, videos. Find videos concerning just about everything. See a cat swing from a ceiling fan. See George Washington save children (but not the British children). See someone totally kick ass at Smash Bros. See Jim and Pam flirt while Snow Patrol or equally sappy music plays in the background. It's all there.

 

That's about it from here. Let me know if you enjoyed/enjoy any of those sites... I'd love to hear back.

I don't know what it is,
But something's gotta give
--A

A few thoughts for my Monday morning before I actually get to work:

* I have been having some of the most ridiculous, insanity-driven dreams ever this past week. Like, what the hell? I had one about cars and bears and bears eating people over the weekend, which may or may not inspire a drawing. More notably: last night, I had a very satisfying dream in which I totally, TOTALLY bitched out the ex whilst tearing up an article of fetus-face's clothing. Like, dude... it was AWESOME. I flipped OUT. Hehehe.

* Did you know there is a fetish called "vore" in which people fantasize about being eaten alive? I'm dead serious. XD 

* I starting "watching" about twenty new LJ communities as of Friday. Can anyone say "loser"? And did you know there's an emetophobia community on here? I was like, yessssssss. Nothing better than finding others who share my intense, irrational fear of regurgitation.

* Went dancing on Friday. Literally less than a minute after we had got in, the creepiest man I've ever seen came up and asked if he could buy me a drink. I was like, uh, hand "X", anyone? HAHA. God. Soooooo horrifying. Amy gets all the creepers.

* Took myself out on Saturday, since I was alone in Louisville. It would have been a perfect night for having a party/having a boy over, but since I'm not popular enough to acquire either at the moment, I decided to just go out and spoil myself. Spent about forty dollars at Pacsun on new sunglasses, a wallet, a couple tank tops and the like. I went to Circuit City and found about 70 things I want for my birthday. Stood in Borders for an hour and stared stupidly at the books in the technology section... wanting to swallow all of that knowledge into my poor, meager brain. Also, laying out front, they had about five or six books that were trying to predict what was going to happen in Deathly Hallows. Oh, my God, so funny. One of them actually detailed the history of the "shipping wars" and basically reiterated Emerson's thoughts of "delusional"--amazing. To see the word "ship" in an actual, published, buyable book... haha. It brings such joy to my nerd soul.

* I'M SO GOING TO MARYLAND FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS. FTW. There is no better way to celebrate the end of my childhood than with two of the nerdiest ladies I know. :-) Also, I'm beginning my Potter-spree as of today--five books before the weekend of the movie... I think I can do it.

* Raining Jane = yes. "Birthday Malaise" = double yes, for being appropriate and for using words I need to look up on Wikipedia.

* What I really want to talk about--I spent a couple days without pills this weekend, and oh my God, did it affect me. Poor Katherine got to experience the worst of it, as I went through yet another relapse and nearly threw a fit over her going on that damned double date. Last night, I started bawling after I got offline because of confusing away messages and never-long-enough conversations and my complete inability to decipher anything that damned boy is thinking. Decided that I really do want him--desperately, even--yet I still have to struggle to convince myself it isn't hopeless, and it sucks. I removed more unsavory people from my friends lists on Facebook and AIM--no more torturing myself like that. Basically, I was an emotional trainwreck and was lacking the self-control to do anything about it. I also became frighteningly creative in an insane, racing-thoughts kind of way. I have about three or four poems stewing in my brain that are going to have to come out eventually. I finished my "Waitress" piece, which could use a lot of improvement, but turned out alright I think. Gah... I'm so freaking nuts. Lock me up, someone.

That's enough of my ramblage for now... I might try to write something else today, although I have a lot to do, for once. Love, dears.

My purse could kill a small animal, I think.

Newest casualty: my sunglasses. God, come ON. Pulled them out this morning... and they'd snapped, right at the bridge. Mmm. Current location: the trashcan under my desk. At least this gives me an excuse to go out and spend 15% of my paycheck this weekend.

I slept way too much yesterday. I went home after work and took a 3 and 1/2 hour nap. On top of that, I actually fell asleep at the same time as always. I ate no dinner... that might have something to do with it. Slightly-related topic: I'm also back to 110 pounds. *rolls eyes* Freaking stick.

I had yet another "going back to school" dream... probably the third or fourth I've had this week. This one was quite notable for the sheer amount of insanity that my mind produced. Semi-normal things: packing my clothes (much nicer than in real life--extra-cute underwear!), deciding what to wear, talking to my LI's former LI on AIM, holding said LI's hand secretly while they were holding someone else's hand. Not-normal things: Indiana Jones, a Cherokee horse (I don't even know what that means), hitting random people over the head with guitars and stealing their iPods, hobbits (or Reid? Debatable.), Charlie from Lost, nudity, parents in gratuitous face-paint, fat-burning pills, and helicopter rides. Like... what the hell? My dream-self is on crack.

Amy Winehouse's CD "Back to Black" is pretty friggin' sweet. If any of you are fans of "Rehab," I highly suggest a purchase. Mmm. So funky. So old-school. I'm proud to nearly-share a name with her. No, no, no. *dances slightly in chair*

I'm feeling much better this morning, if you couldn't tell by the complete ADD-ness of the above topics. I'm very hyper, very giggly, and prone to losing focus at any moment. And it's 8:30 in the morning. Hee. I guess I was kind of taken care of, for a change, yesterday. It did help. Halp. DO WANT. *Fucking lolcats*... I'M IN UR AIMBOX, STEALIN UR SYMPATHEEZE. Ya, RLY.

I'm going to go back to pretending I know what I'm doing with this SQL code and getting this Boardmaker application out to people at the rehab centers while simulataneously listening to the most offensive podcast ever devised. Timothy James Henson is the love of my life. I need to be drugged now, please.


Are the details in the fabric?
Are the things that make you panic?
Are your thoughts result of static cling?
--A

So bored... I've tried everything... DA, digg, texting... it all falls through. So to waste the last few moments of my day, here's a bit of this:

1. Do you download music not from the popular genres of Top 40, pop, rock, rap, dance, R&B, or country?
Oh, indie, definitely. *barfs a bit* Really, those cover most of my musical interests, unless you count some folk-ish stuff. Meh. I'm not that interesting.

2. Are there any musicians for whom you've downloaded a significant amount of their material yet own few or none of their albums?
Hmm. I have quite a few White Stripes songs that are album-less. I also have a massive amount of non-album Mraz songs... although I also have his albums too, so I guess that doesn't count.

3. Have you ever enjoyed a downloaded album so much that you went and bought the physical album?
I bought Tristan Prettyman's CD twice... once in the store and once again on iTunes (it won't let you rip it to your computer due to copyright protection software). With Flyleaf and the Arctic Monkeys, I downloaded quite a few songs first before I went out and actually bought the CDs. I knew 80% of the songs on Mraz's Mr. A-Z by heart before the album actually came out.

4. How many different ways of playing music do you own (such as radio, stereo system, computer, Walkman/Discman, mp3 player, mp3-ready phone, etc.)?
Radio... computer... CD player... iPod.... phone... around five, although I'm sure I could come up with more if I had to.

5. Do you still have and/or play a favorite vinyl album, cassette tape, or 8-track tape?
Oh, that original Ace of Base cassette holds a special place in my heart. XD Nah, I don't own any of those things, sadly. Meh. Nostalgia for me comes less from the item and more from the music itself. That's the way I see it.


GAH.

STILL TEN MINUTES LEFT. *brain collapses*
--A

Notables:

* Started putting poetry up on DeviantART. I love DeviantART. God, I'm a loser.

* On a similar note, I started using the artpad at artpad.art.com to do some fun stuff in my free time. If anything turns out well (or if I ever finish a piece), I'll be sure to link it up like crazy... it's so much fun to play back the process once it's finished. God, if anything makes me want a Wacom tablet, it's that. They're only about 85 dollars... who knows, maybe I'll get one as an X-mas/birthday present for myself. When did I start becoming so goddamned artsy fartsy? Urgh. I swear, if I start the whole leggings+skirt thing, it's time to put a gun to my head.

* Yesterday, I wrote down lines of Sylvia Plath poems that I liked while simultaneously listening to Distorted View Daily. These two things are so intrinsically wrong together that I don't know how my mind did not immediately burst into flames.

* Last.fm is amazing. As is that goddamned Imogen Heap song... christ. Vocal. Orgasm. "Come Here Boy" = download it. I have a "sex" tag for that very reason.


Last night, around 9 p.m., I threw a glee-fit. I just became... utterly ridiculous. I turned up the music on the computer as loud as it would go and danced and sang like an idiot, alone in my basement. Sometime during the outrageous arm-swinging and throat-stretching I realized that every girl out there has done this--at some point, every woman has one of those moments where she's in love with life, where she's suited with herself, where she feels like she might be the most beautiful person on earth. And we all have that connection--this longing to be loved, to share everything we're worth, to dance like a complete fool and not care. That's what this poem is about. This one spilled out in the span of about 15 or 20 minutes. A few words borrowed from "Cigarettes" by The Wreckers, and style lovingly wrenched from the pen of Sylvia Plath. Have a great day. :-D 


Tortoise (The Dancing Woman's Song)

Skin shells thick like timber,
But shared parts spill intrinsic
Similarities in blood and tell
The limbs to bend.

They tell the limbs to bend in heavensent
Spells fitted to the inner
Shifting shingles of a girl's head.
Intrinsic similarities
In blood and breath--in
Its interpretation of our hidden
Intertwining veins.

"Someday, maybe somebody will
Love me like I need."
And we each sing the same
Unheeding hymn inside.
We name the things that breed
These guiltless rhymes
And make us dance, dance, dance
Until our throats run dry.

--A

Hey, kids.

At work, listenin' to some Distorted View, waiting for people to get back to me on some code I've been writing.

Lost finale = fantastic. This was the first Lost finale with which I can remember being satisfied. I won't spoil it, in case some of you haven't watched it, but I will say that I'm very glad I got back into the show this year. And that Sawyer is hot.

I have some art on deviantArt, now. I'm pretty sure that makes me a nerd... a 14-year-old emo nerd... but it's great to get some actual feedback on my art. Some of my pieces had comments after the first minute. It's a great feeling, to see those comments and "favorites." I'm elated that people enjoy the things I make. You can check it out here.

Work gives me a lot, A LOT of time to listen to new music, and I'm loving it. I'm still digging into Rufus Wainwright... I think it's going to take more time before I really get a handle on him. I just "got" Ani DiFranco within the past 24 hours. At first, she just sounded like some rambling maniac over acoustic guitar, but now I'm getting into it. "Letting the Telephone Ring" says so many of the bitchy, bitchy things that are in my head... I can tell that song is going to be my gateway into her music.

Currently downloading the new Arctic Monkeys album, Amy Winehouse (only three letters from me! *is idiot*), Lily Allen, Lady Sovereign, Girl Talk (BECAUSE NO ONE EVER GAVE IT TO ME), Gnarls Barkley, and Imogen Heap. Too. Much. I'm going to get arrested for the amount of shit I download, I swear. Still listening to new Tori, Ani, Regina Spektor, Fiona Apple, the shit Reid gave me, Ben Folds, Holly Brook, Modest Mouse, Muse, Dashboard, Rufus, The Fray, Evanescence (*giggles*), Keane, the Fratellis, and generally way, way too many things at once. My brain is going to fall in on itself one of these days.

Half an hour until I go home, sleep, eat, watch an episode of the British "Office" and lay my head down for the night. I'll talk to you guys, soon. 

But I've got time.
--A

La!

Well, I'm back home, that's for sure. I've got to love my Jenny Riggs--she certainly reminds me how to have a good time. We went dancing on Friday, and oh, did we enjoy ourselves. Our escort was the majestic, oh-so-suave Adam, who I like the more I encounter. I wore a new outfit. Ate a cookie. And I was ready to go.

May I just say--with every level of conceit possible--that Jenny and I were two goddamned sexy bitches. We lured the party onto the dancefloor.

The guys were creepy, for the most part. Old and drunk. There was one kid in a Borat shirt--I was tempted, but I didn't have the balls to go after him. One guy asked me if "I like girls" and then offered to take me out "even though he has a girl." Mmm--ladies, there are situations where lying is okay. Apparently, DanceClub!Amy has a boyfriend of six months who lives in Cincinnati. Fascinating. I had the phrase "I waaaanna fuuuuck you" sang repeatedly in my ear. I gave my phone number to some man who thought I was "sexy" and "liked my style." He called me three times Saturday. *facepalm* I also attracted the ever-mysterious "Puff," Adam's friend, who is supposedly hot, though I just thought he was "meh" and personality-less.

Gah! So much damned fun. Fuck, I don't think I've felt so desired or goddamned gorgeous for months. My summer seems so full, right now. There aren't too many things that I miss.

I have about 80 new CD's (hyperbole) to listen to (thank you, torrents)... and more on the way. Up next: Amy Winehouse and the new Arctic Monkeys album. After that, I'm looking towards Gnarls Barkley, Lily Allen ("Smile" = BITCHFEST), and Lady Sovereign--although, I might want to at least *attempt* to weed through the rest of the albums I've got, here. Shit, I downloaded Regina Spektor's "Soviet Kitsch"... damn. "Chemo Limo" is my song-of-the-moment--I've probably listened to it ten times in the last two days. Grraaaaah...it's beautiful. The woman is fucking crazy. I also started a last.fm account... so God KNOWS what kind of music that's going to point me towards. Just another way for people to stalk me. WEE fun. I love having too much time on my hands.

Why can't it be summer all the time? The theme parks. The swimming pools. I wanna rock my short-shorts and my Keds all year long. These next weeks are going to be gone before I know it.

--A

Introducing: Amy's Thoughts on Music

I'm sure everyone really gives a shit about this post.

Now that's out of the way--I've got a few things to say. I've been trying to define myself musically for the past month or so, and it's been a kind of healing process. I emerged out of a relationship where I felt willing to sacrifice those pieces of me in order to appease someone else's tastes. I came back to my iTunes and frowned. I had his music, near the top, just added, and I knew that was bullshit. I couldn't listen to that--I didn't know if I liked it or I liked that he liked it. But then, when I looked at my own music, I would cringe. "Pop crap," I would think--my music wasn't "good enough."

Why, why, why would I think that? Songs that I had listened to hundreds of times over seemed trivial and juvenile. So I started to dig back into it. Tristan Prettyman was the first step--her "twentythree" had been a close friend throughout senior year, all of college, and said relationship. It was a good starting place. "Guestcheck"--a live performance (it's not on the album)--started me on a path to rediscover what I truly felt about music.

There were also The Wreckers. Their songs are catchy, singable, easy-on-the-ears and they were coming, live, within the week. I listened to the CD about five or six times right after the break-up... it's an amazing "FUCK YOU" kind of album, and I'm glad it was within my reach. They're pop. They're nothing that magazine critics are going to rave about or indie websites are going to drool over. But goddamnit, I can sing every word to that CD and mean it. I enjoyed--enjoy "Stand Still, Look Pretty." That concert was the most fun I had that entire week. But still, in the back of my mind, I felt lesser for liking them.

I turned to Limewire. I download songs I liked from the radio--new and old--and listened to them without binding myself to any one artist or album. Learning to appreciate the idea of a "single" again--something popular--was like jumping into a pool on a hot summer's day. Songs like "Dashboard" by Modest Mouse, "Disease" by Matchbox 20, "Amie" by the Pure Prairie League, and "What Goes Around / Comes Back Around" by Justin Timberlake (especially that one, hehe) helped me shake my ass, bob my head, and get the fuck over myself.

This, of course, inspired my Philosophy paper fiasco. The assignment was on "taste"--is good "taste" equal to good morals? I bitched a fit all over that essay. Hell, I bitched a fit in real life, jumping down my friend's throats. Yeah, I like Justin Timberlake's songs, and the moment you suggest that I'm less than you for shaking my ass to "Sexyback," I'm going to rip your head off. Writing that paper--and having my professor express enjoyment in reading it--was a big part of my therapy. I knew who I was speaking to when I wrote it. I was speaking to a music prick--but one who would be objective towards my opinions on the subject. It was extremely cathartic to express my frustration in that form... I can write a fierce essay when I choose to, and I felt like I did myself a service.

Then there was Pandora (www.pandora.com). Typically, Pandora does a mediocre job of finding something I actually enjoy. I can listen to it briefly, but it's rare that something truly captures my interest. Until I listened to Holly Brook's "Like Blood, Like Honey." It's a mellow song... a dash of acoustic guitar mixed with her smooth voice. I downloaded it. It sat unassuming in iTunes, not asking for attention. And then, I began to take notice--its profound simplicity begged me to push the play button again and again. Each time, I was healing. My taste was whetted.

Finally, I found "Pele." I had seen the path Holly Brook was leading me down... back towards light acoustics, piano players, true vocalists and songwriters. A path which, of course, led me back into the arms of a miss Tori Amos. My cousin freely gave me a copy of "Boys for Pele"--her third album and an 18 track masterpiece.

It's pretentious, unintelligible, wicked and crooked--it's beautiful. When I first heard "Blood Roses," I was elated to have Tori express such force with her vocals... "God knows I know I've thrown away those graces." Such honesty and intensity reminds me why I listen to music, why I sing in the first place. The album has healed so much in me. She is unflinching. Songs like "Talula" and "Muhammad My Friend" get at something deep in me that needs fixing. When she sings "ashere, ashere, ashere, ashere, ashere," I feel my whole body moving against those syllables.

So now, I've set off exploring. I've got my hands on another Tori album, Ani DiFranco's debut, and Holly Brook's CD, with about a million more on my to-do list. Ben Folds is imminent, as well as Sarah Machlaclan, Joni Mitchell, Jeff Buckley, Natalie Merchant and the like. I'm revisiting my time with Jewel and Fiona Apple, and keeping in touch with true friends like Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman.

"Sweet, sweet, sweet,
Used to be so sweet to me, well."

I tell you what, I think there's a lot left where that came from.

-A